A good cry might help!!

So here I am again another sleepless night! I love my Dads insomnia I inherited!!! Thanks Dad :) I was kinda fun when I was younger 'cause I would watch Johnny Carson and late night shows and movies with my Dad when we couldn't sleep but He's not here. So here I sit thinking way to much... Sometimes it's not so bad and I can go to bed by 12 or 1 am those are the good nights!! Lately it's either 3 or 4 or no sleep at all :( And yes I have tried pretty everything for insomnia, prescrition and over the counter. It either does absolutely nothing or it makes me groggy and sleepy the next day all day long. Which yes I am tired when I don't sleep but not foggy and groggy like the pills make me.

I worry a lot about when I get done with school, keeping a job can be difficult for me, not because I fall asleep at work but because I have a hard time putting up with all the b.s. and when I am very sleep deprived I just don't care so I usually say screw it I don't need this crap and I leave. yep I'm a loser.

I remember being very little and listening to my family snoring and sleeping and I would lay in bed wishing I could sleep too!! I am kinda of used to it, but it would be nice to get a job that I can work from home and eventually I should be able to that is if I can get a job doing medical billing and coding when I get done with school. But of course they want experience and you can't get any unless someone hires you.....just found all this out a few months ago that unless I have AT LEAST 1-2 years of experience I will most likely not get hired, humm that took all my motivation away :(

Maybe I can win the lottery!!!! lol yea like I have any kind of good!

So I keep prayer God will help through this, I hope he is listening cause I pray A LOT and I am sure he tunes me out a lot :) and I don't blame him!!! No I know he listens and will help me.

So enough of my sad crap and babbling, Today is a new day and I am going to smile and breath and even laugh a little today.